How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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