Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize