my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize