I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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