never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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