My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize