I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize