it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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