I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize