I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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