I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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