Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize