Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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