So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
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He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
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She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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