And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The struggles of a small town man whore
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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