I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
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It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
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Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I wear drunk well.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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