then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize