Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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