It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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