I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
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i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
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just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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