when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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