Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You know, be my cock's hype man.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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