i was born a porn star she said
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize