I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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