I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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