Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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