Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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