my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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