I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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