No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize