There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize