i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
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Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
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We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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