I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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