Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture http://tfl.nu/ttvt
  Replies (46) Good night (522) Bad night (2822) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out

  (574): View more from Indiana

  You never cease to amaze me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out (574): You never cease to amaze me. http://tfl.nu/7cst
  Replies (18) Good night (5156) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know. http://tfl.nu/z1c6
  Replies (29) Good night (7821) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer. http://tfl.nu/2zy4
  Replies (60) Good night (10121) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis. http://tfl.nu/iuvq
  Replies (28) Good night (5873) Bad night (822) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year. http://tfl.nu/dota
  Replies (4) Good night (2809) Bad night (842) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one http://tfl.nu/l60l
  Replies (5) Good night (4863) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn. http://tfl.nu/6ro6
  Replies (5) Good night (3226) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station http://tfl.nu/qhlw
  Replies (6) Good night (815) Bad night (1579) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. http://tfl.nu/90tm
  Replies (18) Good night (1050) Bad night (1199) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now. http://tfl.nu/1qaa
  Replies (4) Good night (1612) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing http://tfl.nu/nqjl
  Replies (6) Good night (956) Bad night (385) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (450): View more from Quebec

  She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (450): She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do... http://tfl.nu/okgn
  Replies (10) Good night (3242) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence http://tfl.nu/n478
  Replies (2) Good night (1193) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time http://tfl.nu/cfap
  Replies (2) Good night (661) Bad night (310) Order T-Shirt

Randomize