i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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