Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize