what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
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My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
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why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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