and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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