Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
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New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
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It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
FUCK WHALES
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