maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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