I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize