as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
pray to the hookup gods
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize