Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
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You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize