I bet he comes in French.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
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Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
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