is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
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He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
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I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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