Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize