you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize