You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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