Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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