If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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